Summer Lessons

This summer I made a conscious choice to take the summer off to revitalize, renew and re-energize. I usually seem to make decisions like this, as I have to allow my be my heart to lead the way and do what's best for me desptie what is considered the "right" thing to do. Going against the grain seems to be my thing.

As I re-enter into the hustle and bustle of life once again, I thought it would be a good idea to make a list of the things that I learned or was able to foster as a result of my choice to rest this summer. Every time I choose to share something like this I question what people will think because I am sharing such an intimate part of myself. But I quickly realize how important and healing it is to be able to write this blog and the fear vanishes.

Now... to the list:

* closer relationship with son and a deeper appreciation for who is as a person (which is priceless)

* my decision to go natural: I never realized just how unsatisfied I was with my permed hair and this summer I actually was able to begin this process

* felt my heart begin to awaken again

* opened myself up to new people and friendships

* more self-discovery and time to be with myself: able to experience deeper dimensions of myself

* lots more time to crystal hunt: discovered fantastic stores and magical places

* commitment to yoga and reaping its benefits

* lots more time to daydream and use positive visualizations

* learned the importance of slowing down and taking time for myself and my family

Overall, I learned that if I didn't take this time, these wonderful things may have been realized much later or even not at all. I am grateful....

Love and light,

S

Stars

I found this story today on a blog that I follow:

It was Christmas eve, several years ago and I stopped by to a coffee shop to take a break from all the gift-shopping. I was also carrying some books in case I felt like reading, and a sketchbook and my pencils, so I took them out of the bag and relaxed myself and started drawing. After an hour or so, it seemed to me like I had plunged in another world; a world where I felt alive, where fairytales really existed, and witches and magic beans were not products of some writer’s imagination.

Then after a while,a light seemed to blind me. I stopped drawing, and I looked up.
A man had entered, wearing the most absurd clothes, like having come out of a fairytale; green tights, a check t-shirt and carrying a big bag. He went over towards my table.
“You ’ve got many books there. Have you possibly read “Mister God, this is Anna”? ”.This clicked!How can a stranger speak about God? And how did he know my name?
“May I buy you something to eat?” I asked. He seemed poor.“No, thank you. But instead you can pick anything from my bag, and give me whatever you think it is its value”.

So I took a look at the bag, full of toys - instantly I thought “was he Santa disguised?” - but then I saw that tiny ladybird, a symbol of renewed life, made possibly with clay. I picked it up, and gave him what I thought it was worth.

“You are very generous, so I ’ll tell you a secret;” he said.“Everyone is a star. All of us are stars. And the time comes when the stars fall. But till then, we can shine so immensely that we can shed light in the darkness of the sky, and hopefully our light will carry other stars along with us and shine more brightly.”He said these words, and he left;leaving the ladybird on the table!The light faded and faded, and it was like I had woken up from a dream, but all of this was real!

I thought that it was beautiful and it reminds me of something that I wrote one night when I couldn't sleep:

Couldn’t sleep last night and something deep within me quietly said go look outside for stars. We always hear how beautiful the stars are but have you ever really looked? You should, you won’t be disappointed. For everyone who has ever questioned their own existence or if this world is in some way orchestrated by someone/thing bigger than ourselves, a Source, please look at the stars.

I realized that at that precise moment in my life, everything in my life led me here, in that exact spot, being so close to something that seemed so far away. I was 20, living in a town I never thought I would, happy enjoying my life but mostly learning to love myself.

To think that I could instantly look out my bedroom window and instantly connect with my Source and know I was not alone. I instantly felt the connection of how important I am in this universe but also how insignificant I am at the same time. To know that everything had been orchestrated for me to be at the window that particular night made me fells so loved, so wanted, so at home.

Looking at the stars also reminded me of who God created us to be. He created us to be brilliant, bold and bright. To give all of ourselves even if we didn’t have any more to give, even when the clouds cover us and the rain may temporarily displace out beauty. To shine out brightest in the face of adversity, fear and confusion. We were sent here to be the best of ourselves and even though you may not know it you have it within you to shine your brightest right NOW! Just become like the stars and BE who you are deep within your being. And always remember that you are not alone- all you have to do is look up at the stars.

What a beautiful reminder of how much we are loved!

Love and light,

S

Quotes from the book The Alchemist

I saw this and it just made me feel good. I hope it does the same for you!

Alchemist quotes by Gayle

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Just Be....

My yoga classes are held in a beautifully decorated space which I adore. On the ceiling of the space is written quotes by all of the instructors at the centre.

I was late coming into class and happened to sit at the back of the class. As I relaxed into the meditation part of the class, I looked up and written on the ceiling above me were the following words: Just Be.

Love and light,

S

Little, Delicate Awakenings

“And then the day came when the risk of remaining in a tight bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”-Anais Nin

I have been contemplative over the past week or so about writing this blog. I have realized that I haven’t felt moved to write anything lately, even though so much has been shifting and moving in my life. I tried to force myself to write something but just couldn’t. If it is not from the heart, it is not real and I want what I do to come from my heart and be real.

So this morning I was presently surprised that I actually felt the urge and inspiration to write again. You see over the past month so many wonderful things have been happening. Things have been changing both within me and without of me and it has been absolutely fantastic, though at times, I must admit, I really couldn’t see the fantastic. I felt very lost: disconnected, not grounded and not knowing. But I have come to realize, as a dear friend has told me that when you get lost, you find something that you don’ expect to find.

I have realized that over the past couple of months little awakenings have been occurring in my life-little serendipitous moments that have led me to this bigger moment of awakening and feeling grounded. It has been pushed along by the circle of support that I have around me-even though some of them may not know just how much they have given me. I have experienced moments of being held in my delicate humanness, by my circle of supportive friends and family members who continue to hold me unconditionally, despite the frailties and vulnerabilities. They have allowed me to be who I am and have accepted me wholeheartedly and without reservation, but with love, in the truest sense of the word. They have been the flicker of light through the darkness and the support net that held me even though, at times it was hard to be held. For this I am truly blessed and appreciative. Through them I have realized the true meaning of genuine relationships and the importance of both being held as you are, allowing yourself to be held and returning that support. This is a lesson that has been coming to me over the past couple of months that I am sure will last a lifetime.

It is through this and many other changes and awakenings that have happened in my life that I have realized that even though I felt like I was lost, I was really being led. Led to appreciate what I have, led to be patient and recognize open doors, led to be true to who I am despite who may be hurt and led to go deeper within myself, to know and love myself deeper,stronger and harder than ever before.

There is a beautiful image from the book Eleanor Rigby by Douglas Coupland that resonates with me in this moment. At the beginning of the book the main character is standing in a Rogers Video parking lot watching a comet in the sky and feels as if something within her has shifted and changed. She states that she feels as if she is a big magnet and she has opened the door to allow everything into her life that is meant to be there.


The other day I came across a song that my closest companion started to write. One line says: “I’ve only fought society with armour and a shield. It’s time for me to fight them only with a shield.” These two beautiful images describe exactly how I feel in this moment.

Love and light,

S

Slow Dancing with Yourself

Yesterday I had a conversation about taking time for yourself despite the crazy busyness that we delve into, which I think is a part of our culture. I was telling my friend that it is important to take time for yourself and in those moments, you will know what to do in terms of which way to go, which path to take and those questions that we all want answered.

This seems to be a theme in my life as of late, as I recall having this same conversation with two other friends as they held me in my moment of deep feeling -which I was thoroughly appreciative of.

At the same time that I was giving this advice though, I realized that I also need to be taking it. Being off from school seems to be very short lived for me. I went through a moment of just wanting to have everything done and over with so that I can take the much needed time to relax. I went through a hectic period getting my last paper out and found that I had literally checked out ages ago. I didn't want to do it and I just wanted it to be over with. It has been a long year, of a lot of looooong commutes, hard work and effort and I was ready for it to be over. And I am beginning to realize that it is okay. It is okay to feel those feelings and be with it, no matter how uncomfortable they may be.

So I have decided to be with myself this summer and enjoy it-and this is okay!

Wishing you light,

S

Opening the heart

I found this today and I thought it was sweet....and true!

Love and light,

S