Welcome to your dream...

I was given this beautiful message this week and I decided to share. I am so grateful and blessed...enjoy!

This is your dream it is very important to dream. Dreaming helps everything, dreaming is to let go and feel. Do things in real life to let go and feel like go to a dance, party, yoga or so on. Life gives you things to love, enjoy, feel and treasure. Be an inspiration to someone else or more importantly YOU!! Dreaming is like who cares what’s goanna happen tomorrow: today is today, tomorrow is tomorrow. BE A TREASURE TO HOLD, BE AN INSPIRATION!!!

Love and light,

S

Being Vulnerable

I received this message in my inbox today. The timing couldn't be more perfect.

It said:

There's a joy in living real. No pretense. No defense. No offense. It takes great strength to show our weaknesses to the world.When we are displaying control or anger, what are we really showing? How weak we are. We take it out on everyone around us because we are afraid to be real.Be vulnerable today. Get in touch with those jelly feelings hiding beneath the hard façade.

What a wake up! Thanks universe!

Love and light,

S

Surrender and trust the process...

Everything that I do has to have with it an opportunity for me to shine. By this I mean that I have to be able to truly and fully be who I am in every aspect of me life. If I can't be myself then I can't do it.

Recently I have been trying to practice the art of surrender; allowing myself to trust the process, surrender to what is and just be. This has proven to be a difficult task for me as I have the habit of overworking to reveal the light in everything. You can only imagine how tiring this can be.

Then today I came across this quote, innocently yet boldly written on a wall:

Relying on outside things for happiness is like trying to catch a cloud with a lasso.

When I saw this it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I came to the realization that I was relying too much on external circumstances for my own fulfillment. I have been attaching myself to results outside of myself to make me happy.

Now that I know this, I have to readjust my sails and allow things to unfold as they should without losing myself in it all. This is quite the balancing act and will take some getting used to but I have to remember that everything is always being rewritten.

Love and light,

S

Pushing beyong limits

I saw this quote on the wall in the change room at my yoga studio today. It said:

I write, erase, rewrite, erase again and then a poppy blooms - Hokushi

I took it as a metophor of the cycle of birth and rebirth in life. We are always recreating ourselves, adjusting ourselves to the winds of challenge that face us. And that's okay because there is always a gift that is given when we continue moving forward. Every challenge has light in it and it is the light, not the darkness that guides us.

Today I took on a challenge of my own. I went to a yoga class with a teacher who really challenges us to go beyond what we think is possible for us. The first class I went to of hers was when I first started yoga and I found it very, very challenging. She really pushed us and I crumbled. I felt like I couldn't do it and it would be too hard to return to her class.

Coming to this class, my confidence level was built up and I felt that I could do it. She opened the class by asking us what we feared and she wanted us to release that in our session today.

I am proud because I did it and I stuck it through and it felt good to know that I could push passed the fear and anxiety of it all.

So like the quote above, I tried, failed, tried again and the gift was received.

Thank you universe for showing me what is possible!

I am grateful....

Light and love,

S

Yoga...Ommmm

I love yoga!

It's something that I can do that gives me the exercise and release that I need. It has such a spiritual aspect to it as well that deeply moves me every time. And I love the feeling of spaciousness and grounding that I am guaranteed to get every time I leave a yoga class.

I have been blessed to find a great yoga studio in my area, in a beautiful space with fabulous teachers. I remember the first time that I went. I contemplated going for a long time and I was very nervous to go. But the universe always seems to bring you the people you need to support you wherever you are.

I remember initially trying out different teachers and classes, until I came across the most amazing teacher. She is deeply spiritual, supportive and moving. But she has this way of knowing exactly what I need and what I need to hear-it's really amazing.

One class recently was particularly moving for me. It was a really moving, intense class and a lot was released for me. I also remember having some trouble settling my mind and staying focused in this class as well. Toward the end of the class my yoga teacher began to disclose stuff about her life. She said that she came to realize throughout her life that all she had to do was just be and that alone was perfect enough. She then quoted a song from one of her favourite artists and the line from the song was: "Get out of bed. Get out of your mind. And get to dreaming."

In that moment I realized just how much time I spend consumed and distracted by things around me. Placing me energy into things that don't really matter when there are more important things to be focused on-like dreaming. I am a really big dreamer and often find myself lost in daydreaming about things that I want to see happen. Dreaming has allowed me to see so many things come to pass that I never thought would be possible. It is important to dream and when you get caught up in the busyness of daily life sometimes the dreaming gets lost.

So, get out of bed, get out of your mind and start dreaming.

This will be my new mantra.

Love and light,

S

The beauty of being held

I have been meaning to write about this for awhile now but for some reason, I’ve never gotten around to giving it the attention in my blog that it deserves.

Last year, my practicum for school was at a social service organization that provides bereavement support for people who have lost someone close to them. I remember when I first got the placement I immediately wondered what I was meant to learn from this experience.

I’ve learned many things from this experience that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Despite learning how I could do my job better, it was also a true experience of awakening that occurred on so many different levels. It was truly a magical experience filled with tons of A-Ha! Moments at every turn along the way.

But one of the most important things that I learned is what real relationships are. They should be based on mutual support of each other- no one person is burdened by the problems of the other and both people are equally held in their moment, whatever that may be. Along with this comes the idea of telling your story and being open about what you are feeling, without judgment or feeling uncomfortable.

Being held in your moment is such a beautiful experience because you are being accepted just the way you are, faults and all. For me, this is what love is- being held by another person when you are truly and authentically you.

Recently, I have had the chance to be held like this and I am grateful for having these people in my life. It is a beautiful acceptance of my humanity and ultimately, who I am as a person.

And now, I have to quote Michael Jackson’s song Will You Be There? It’s unfortunate because I knew just how brilliant he was as an artist but it was only after his death, and my own life experiences that I could truly appreciate the depth of his music.

In the song Michael sings:

Hold me, like the river Jordan, and I will then say to thee you are my friend. Carry me, like you are my brother, love me like a mother, will you be there?

Light and love,

S

Summer Lessons

This summer I made a conscious choice to take the summer off to revitalize, renew and re-energize. I usually seem to make decisions like this, as I have to allow my be my heart to lead the way and do what's best for me desptie what is considered the "right" thing to do. Going against the grain seems to be my thing.

As I re-enter into the hustle and bustle of life once again, I thought it would be a good idea to make a list of the things that I learned or was able to foster as a result of my choice to rest this summer. Every time I choose to share something like this I question what people will think because I am sharing such an intimate part of myself. But I quickly realize how important and healing it is to be able to write this blog and the fear vanishes.

Now... to the list:

* closer relationship with son and a deeper appreciation for who is as a person (which is priceless)

* my decision to go natural: I never realized just how unsatisfied I was with my permed hair and this summer I actually was able to begin this process

* felt my heart begin to awaken again

* opened myself up to new people and friendships

* more self-discovery and time to be with myself: able to experience deeper dimensions of myself

* lots more time to crystal hunt: discovered fantastic stores and magical places

* commitment to yoga and reaping its benefits

* lots more time to daydream and use positive visualizations

* learned the importance of slowing down and taking time for myself and my family

Overall, I learned that if I didn't take this time, these wonderful things may have been realized much later or even not at all. I am grateful....

Love and light,

S

Stars

I found this story today on a blog that I follow:

It was Christmas eve, several years ago and I stopped by to a coffee shop to take a break from all the gift-shopping. I was also carrying some books in case I felt like reading, and a sketchbook and my pencils, so I took them out of the bag and relaxed myself and started drawing. After an hour or so, it seemed to me like I had plunged in another world; a world where I felt alive, where fairytales really existed, and witches and magic beans were not products of some writer’s imagination.

Then after a while,a light seemed to blind me. I stopped drawing, and I looked up.
A man had entered, wearing the most absurd clothes, like having come out of a fairytale; green tights, a check t-shirt and carrying a big bag. He went over towards my table.
“You ’ve got many books there. Have you possibly read “Mister God, this is Anna”? ”.This clicked!How can a stranger speak about God? And how did he know my name?
“May I buy you something to eat?” I asked. He seemed poor.“No, thank you. But instead you can pick anything from my bag, and give me whatever you think it is its value”.

So I took a look at the bag, full of toys - instantly I thought “was he Santa disguised?” - but then I saw that tiny ladybird, a symbol of renewed life, made possibly with clay. I picked it up, and gave him what I thought it was worth.

“You are very generous, so I ’ll tell you a secret;” he said.“Everyone is a star. All of us are stars. And the time comes when the stars fall. But till then, we can shine so immensely that we can shed light in the darkness of the sky, and hopefully our light will carry other stars along with us and shine more brightly.”He said these words, and he left;leaving the ladybird on the table!The light faded and faded, and it was like I had woken up from a dream, but all of this was real!

I thought that it was beautiful and it reminds me of something that I wrote one night when I couldn't sleep:

Couldn’t sleep last night and something deep within me quietly said go look outside for stars. We always hear how beautiful the stars are but have you ever really looked? You should, you won’t be disappointed. For everyone who has ever questioned their own existence or if this world is in some way orchestrated by someone/thing bigger than ourselves, a Source, please look at the stars.

I realized that at that precise moment in my life, everything in my life led me here, in that exact spot, being so close to something that seemed so far away. I was 20, living in a town I never thought I would, happy enjoying my life but mostly learning to love myself.

To think that I could instantly look out my bedroom window and instantly connect with my Source and know I was not alone. I instantly felt the connection of how important I am in this universe but also how insignificant I am at the same time. To know that everything had been orchestrated for me to be at the window that particular night made me fells so loved, so wanted, so at home.

Looking at the stars also reminded me of who God created us to be. He created us to be brilliant, bold and bright. To give all of ourselves even if we didn’t have any more to give, even when the clouds cover us and the rain may temporarily displace out beauty. To shine out brightest in the face of adversity, fear and confusion. We were sent here to be the best of ourselves and even though you may not know it you have it within you to shine your brightest right NOW! Just become like the stars and BE who you are deep within your being. And always remember that you are not alone- all you have to do is look up at the stars.

What a beautiful reminder of how much we are loved!

Love and light,

S

Quotes from the book The Alchemist

I saw this and it just made me feel good. I hope it does the same for you!

Alchemist quotes by Gayle

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Just Be....

My yoga classes are held in a beautifully decorated space which I adore. On the ceiling of the space is written quotes by all of the instructors at the centre.

I was late coming into class and happened to sit at the back of the class. As I relaxed into the meditation part of the class, I looked up and written on the ceiling above me were the following words: Just Be.

Love and light,

S

Little, Delicate Awakenings

“And then the day came when the risk of remaining in a tight bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”-Anais Nin

I have been contemplative over the past week or so about writing this blog. I have realized that I haven’t felt moved to write anything lately, even though so much has been shifting and moving in my life. I tried to force myself to write something but just couldn’t. If it is not from the heart, it is not real and I want what I do to come from my heart and be real.

So this morning I was presently surprised that I actually felt the urge and inspiration to write again. You see over the past month so many wonderful things have been happening. Things have been changing both within me and without of me and it has been absolutely fantastic, though at times, I must admit, I really couldn’t see the fantastic. I felt very lost: disconnected, not grounded and not knowing. But I have come to realize, as a dear friend has told me that when you get lost, you find something that you don’ expect to find.

I have realized that over the past couple of months little awakenings have been occurring in my life-little serendipitous moments that have led me to this bigger moment of awakening and feeling grounded. It has been pushed along by the circle of support that I have around me-even though some of them may not know just how much they have given me. I have experienced moments of being held in my delicate humanness, by my circle of supportive friends and family members who continue to hold me unconditionally, despite the frailties and vulnerabilities. They have allowed me to be who I am and have accepted me wholeheartedly and without reservation, but with love, in the truest sense of the word. They have been the flicker of light through the darkness and the support net that held me even though, at times it was hard to be held. For this I am truly blessed and appreciative. Through them I have realized the true meaning of genuine relationships and the importance of both being held as you are, allowing yourself to be held and returning that support. This is a lesson that has been coming to me over the past couple of months that I am sure will last a lifetime.

It is through this and many other changes and awakenings that have happened in my life that I have realized that even though I felt like I was lost, I was really being led. Led to appreciate what I have, led to be patient and recognize open doors, led to be true to who I am despite who may be hurt and led to go deeper within myself, to know and love myself deeper,stronger and harder than ever before.

There is a beautiful image from the book Eleanor Rigby by Douglas Coupland that resonates with me in this moment. At the beginning of the book the main character is standing in a Rogers Video parking lot watching a comet in the sky and feels as if something within her has shifted and changed. She states that she feels as if she is a big magnet and she has opened the door to allow everything into her life that is meant to be there.


The other day I came across a song that my closest companion started to write. One line says: “I’ve only fought society with armour and a shield. It’s time for me to fight them only with a shield.” These two beautiful images describe exactly how I feel in this moment.

Love and light,

S

Slow Dancing with Yourself

Yesterday I had a conversation about taking time for yourself despite the crazy busyness that we delve into, which I think is a part of our culture. I was telling my friend that it is important to take time for yourself and in those moments, you will know what to do in terms of which way to go, which path to take and those questions that we all want answered.

This seems to be a theme in my life as of late, as I recall having this same conversation with two other friends as they held me in my moment of deep feeling -which I was thoroughly appreciative of.

At the same time that I was giving this advice though, I realized that I also need to be taking it. Being off from school seems to be very short lived for me. I went through a moment of just wanting to have everything done and over with so that I can take the much needed time to relax. I went through a hectic period getting my last paper out and found that I had literally checked out ages ago. I didn't want to do it and I just wanted it to be over with. It has been a long year, of a lot of looooong commutes, hard work and effort and I was ready for it to be over. And I am beginning to realize that it is okay. It is okay to feel those feelings and be with it, no matter how uncomfortable they may be.

So I have decided to be with myself this summer and enjoy it-and this is okay!

Wishing you light,

S

Opening the heart

I found this today and I thought it was sweet....and true!

Love and light,

S

Friendships and change

Friendships are constantly shifting, changing and ending. Just like cycles of reinvention, all friendships have beginnings and endings, where either the friendship literally ends or both friends embark on a new beginning together. Sometimes friendships end quite unexpectedly while others may last through these shifts.

I saw an old friend today and in that moment, I saw all that we used to be. Although I have accepted that the friendship is no longer what it used to be, I was deeply saddened when I saw her. And I realized that this was okay.....

In this encounter, I realized just how important it is to grieve friendships when they end. Every friendship has its time and all that we really have with friends are the moments. These moments are the part of the friendship that should be cherished, appreciated and remembered.

Today I learned that in relationships, all we have are moments.

Love and light,

S

Opening the heart

Last week two friends gave me two poems on the same day. I really liked both of them and have decided to share them with you.

The first is written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer and is the basis of her book The Invitation. It can be found on her website: http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

The second poem is called Love After Love and is written by Derek Walcott and can be found at

http://www.eliteskills.com/analysis_poetry/Love_After_Love_by_Derek_Walcott_analysis.php

It’s funny because both of these poems call to what my heart longs for.

Love and light,

S

Endings and beginnings

T.S. Eliot said "What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."

This week I have come across some people from my past. Some of these people I knew long ago and others have more recently left my life for whatever reason.

Looking at things now, these times seem so long ago for me. I feel like I was such a different person then and in many ways, I don’t really remember that life that I used to live. It is such a weird encounter because it physically illustrates the shifts and changes that I have undergone during the past couple of years. And it is such an amazing thing to see.

Don’t get me wrong, my spiritual journey is just beginning, as I begin to try to really understand and get to know myself and I have tons more to learn, live through and encounter. But I realize that I am no longer in the place where I used to be, that I am moving forward and beyond things that in the past would have kept me stuck. To actually see that I am not there anymore, that I have moved forward is huge for me. It feels empowering and positive and real.

At the same time, there is so much sadness in endings-letting go of all that was shared, all the moments that brought so much joy. But I am beginning to realize that these are simply moments, moments to be cherished and remembered. And after all is said and done, they are moments just the same.

Time results in changes: people change, life shifts and things that were so stable at one point in time can become unstable and messy. Change causes shifts which begin to work away at you, and chisel at you as you become the person you were meant to be.

I am grateful for everyone who has come and gone because they all had a purpose, all taught me more about myself and who I was. They helped me grow. And although this process is hurts, it has to happen all the same and the only way to go through it is to go through it.

Today, I learned that endings are not really endings at all; they are the beginnings of something new: new understandings come with shift and change.

Love and light,

S

45 Lessons

I received this e-mail this morning and it was filled with insightful yet simple wisdoms. A reminder to truly live! Thanks mb....

Here it is:

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column I wrote once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don 't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don 't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don 't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don 't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don 't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Love and light,

S

Shifts and Challenges

Lately I haven't been writing as much as I would like to. It seems like life has once again taken me on a joy ride, through the waves of the unknown. At this moment I am trying to discover just what comes next and I am beginning to acknowledge (though not very easily, I must say) that I must be doing exactly what I am meant to be doing or else it wouldn't be happening.

The past couple weeks have been a period of change and shifting for me. Life is always shifting and I guess that is what it is meant to do. All I can do is move with it. I am finding that things are more challenging, that attempting to walk in the light means doing things differently. Things that I have never done before. Things that used to be easy for me to ignore or push aside are no longer that easy to ignore any more. Things that I would have made excuses for before no longer slide. I guess this is a part of growing and of being true.

Challenges have taken on a new dimension for me. It is more about who I am choosing to be in each moment and how true I am choosing to be in regards to what I believe and who I am. It becomes really difficult to stand by and allow things into my life that I can no longer want.

But I also feel as if the more I choose to open and allow things to be different, the more beautiful opportunities I encounter. But I have to get through the challenges, I have to be true to myself. I have to feel the feelings, feel my heart and let what's in my heart out. This is the only way that I will be okay with these shifts that I am going through.

I found this inspiring e-mail in my inbox today that I receive from kabbalah.com. It reads:

Challenges are opportunities. I'd just like to remind you of this timeless principle for the 2,344,343th time.Believe me, I know seeing negative events as opportunities (rather than punishment) is one of the hardest things a person can do. Just remember, it's second nature to your soul and the more you practice this perspective, the more it will become second nature to your rational consciousness.Today, watch your experience change as your attitude changes towards things that would normally bother you.

(exhale).....Just what I needed to hear!

Today I learned to try to see challenges as opportunities, even though it can at times be sooo difficult to do so!

Love and light,

S

Simple Reminders

I was presently surprised when I opened my the current book that I am reading. On the card that I was using as a bookmark, above the image of a hummingbird, was the following passage:

Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation.

What a magical moment indeed!

Love and light,

Saran

The mysterious unknown...

Over the past couple weeks I have been trying to wrap my mind aroung what has been happening in my life. Something that I tend to do often because that is just the type of thinker I am. So many things have changed and are shifting, and is bringing me into a place where I am uncertain as to what comes next. I have come to realize that this is life-you never really know what comes next or what is supposed to happen. The image that comes to my mind whenever I think about this is the final scene in the movie American Beauty where the white plastic bag is just floating in the wind, allowing the wind to guide it where it will, without any resistance. This is true faith.

I am right now in a place where I never thought I would be and is totally different from what I expected. My very day life has taken on an appearance that is totally unlike the way it was, I am surrounded by people that a different from the people I am used to and my life just has a different feel to it.

I have also intentionally begun to do things differently and consciously to attain different results. But it is all a process and everyone that comes into my life helps me to grow. At the beginning of my yoga class the other day, my teacher told me that one must be authentic in relationships and we need relationships to help us to grow. Each person has a role to play in helping us to push our boundaries of comfortableness and open us up to who we are meant to become. It's all about choosing carefully who we decide to invite into out lives and the type of energies we choose to

My horoscope this week perfectly describes the moment that I am in (btw, if you haven't ever checked out Rob Brezny's horoscope, please do, he's fabulous!):

"All the problems we face in the United States today," said comedian and presidential candidate Pat Paulsen, "can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian." With that as your inspiration, Pisces, I urge you to take inventory of your own "immigration policy." It's an excellent time to do so, astrologically speaking. Here are some questions to guide you. What influences do you allow to pour into your sphere? Are they beneficial for your long-term mental health? What people do you invite to share your resources? Do they bring out the best in you? Do you have smart boundaries that keep out the bad stuff and welcome in the good?

Today, I learned about how imprtant boundaries are when trying to walk in the light. Walking in the light is trying, there are tender moments and growth pains but in the end it is all worth it.

Love and light,

Saran

You get what you give....

Today I was told that you get what you put in. Open your heart with joy and it will be given back to you.

Light and Love,

Saran

Feelings....

I've just realized that it has been over a month since I started this blog. I feel as if so much has happened in this time; so much has changed.

I am, right now, sitting in a moment of great change. So many magical things have been happening lately. So many magical, serenfdipitous moments that I am still trying to wrap my mind around. So much learning, a new things to see and opporutnities and chances, openings and beginning as well as endings.

The one thing that is resonating through every moment though is my feelings. Feelings tell me the truth about what I think about things. I think that feelings reveal what your soul is trying to tell you about a particular person or circumstance, no matter how hard you try to ignore it or pretend for it to be different from what it is.

See the thing is I always forget how important feelings are and I am not at a place yet where I automatically know to trust it. Something happens, it makes me feel "weird" and I don't think "Gee, perhaps this is trying to tell me something."

I am learning more and more every day just how important trusting my feelings is. They are like the GPS of the human body. They tell you what you should do in a particular situation because they tell the truth. And I've learned to trust that if it doesn't make me FEEL good, it probably isn't. And I just have to trust that without trying to explain it.

Today, I am learning to trust what I feel, because it is the truth.

Love and light,

Saran

Today my favourite author responded to my question on his blog about a book I read called The Witch of Portobello. His blog can be found at http://paulocoelhoblog.com/.

Here it is....

Today’s Question by the reader : Saran
Published by
Paulo Coelho
on May 12, 2009
in Q&A. 1 Comment

My question:

I have just finished reading the Witch of Portobello. It took me some time to get through, largely because I knew that there was a lot for this book to teach me and my eyes and heart were not ready to receive it. In the book, there is a discussion about the snake that eats its own tail as an image of reinvention or rebirth. I feel like I am going through this process at this time. What is the one thing that I must remember during this time which is full of doubts and fears but at the same time curiosity and excitement?

Response:

You should always bear in mind the goal of this transformation, without shutting away the process. It’s actually in this very moment that you can grasp the wider meaning of your life.
I had this realization while doing the pilgrimage to Saint James. I was, in the beginning obsessed with my sword and so wanted to get straight to the end of the journey. It was actually by living the journey in all its aspects that I was finally able to find my sword. Both elements then must be present in your spirit in this time of change.

Today I was reminded that the universe is always trying to show you the way and that it is always present.

Love and light,

Saran

How much is too much??

Is there ever such a thing as giving too much of yourself? I think there is especially when you are not being appreciated by the other person-regardless of who it is.

Today I find myself contemplating how much of myself I choose to give because in the end, for me at least, it is about choosing to love myself enough to really see what is happening to avoid unnecessary pain. It is easy to put on blinders and pretend I don’t see what I see but in the end, I only end up getting hurt. And anything that causes hurt or makes me feel bad is not self-love.

This reminds me of a poem that I am across while studying in the library. I randomly opened a book and it fell on a page that had the following poem:

There's a hole in my sidewalk

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.It takes me forever to find my way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it still isn’t my fault.
It still takes ma very long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I fall in...its a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Today I learned that if it doesn’t make me feel good then it’s not right - I should start walking down another street.

Love and light,

Saran

Choosing life continued.....

How do we give ourselves over to life again, despite the hurt that it sometimes brings?

Last week, my fabulous cousin (hugs and kisses Kells) called to tell me about a movie that her son accidently ordered on the box called Yes Man. She ended up watching it since it had already ordered and was pleasantly surprised. She convinced me that I should watch it and I decided to give it try (even though I am not a big fan of comedy).

The movie is basically about a man that has closed himself off of living life. Any time any opportunity is presented to him, like say hanging out with friends, he always said NO. He ends up attending a conference hosted by a new age guru who invites him to take on a covenant with himself to say yes to everything despite what it is or how ridiculous it may seem. As he begins to do this, new amazing opportunities begin to take shape in his life, as he begins to try things that he has never thought of doing before. He ends up meeting this girl who is totally his opposite-spontaneous, fun and outgoing and of course they end up falling in love.

What I learned is that by saying no to things and placing limits on myself I have closed a part of myself off from truly living life fully. Although the intention may be there to live life fully awake and engaged, it is doing the do that causes things to happen. I feel as if I have allowed people, situations and events in my life to hurt the love out of me-so I’m trying to start over- new and fresh but it is not as easy as it may seem and it takes time, putting one foot in front of the other. I recently met a friend who has showed me that it all starts with just giving of myself, not holding back and not being afraid to letting go.

But it is a process and I have realized that I have to be easy with myself and take my time. It reminds me of this entry that I found on my favourite author’s blog (as you can probably tell by now, I love quotes!):

The warrior of the light is waking from his sleep. He thinks: “I don’t know how to deal with this light, it makes me grow.” Nonetheless, the light does not disappear. The warrior thinks: “Changes will have to be made that I don’t have the will to make.” The light continues there- because “will” is a very tricky word. So the warrior’s eyes and heart begin to grow used to the light. He does not get scared, he begins to accept his Legend, even though it means running risks. The warrior has been sleeping for a long time. It is only natural that he wakes up little by little.

Today I learned the importance of saying YES!

Love and Light,

Saran

Feel the fear and do it!

Last night I pushed myself to do something that I have never done and was even afraid of doing. I realized that fear is just an emotion-I worked myself up into a frenzy of fear when fear itself was only a moment to go through. By limiting myself to step into the fear I realized that I was creating a reality for myself that was limiting. Once I was on the other side I realized that it really isn’t as bad as it seems-you just have to feel the fear and take a step; the rest will take care of itself.

Today I learned that feelings like fear are just feelings to go through and the limits that I place on myself aren’t real.

Love and light,

Saran

All Talk...

This week I got to thinking about the weight that I attach to the things people say. I realized that it really makes no sense to attach anything to what people say because their actions speak the truth.

I learned that what really matters is action: take what people do over what they say because most of the time talk is only fluff when it is not backed with action.

Love and light,

Saran

Remaining Open

While watching one of my favourite movies, Amelie, something really resonated with me. Towards the end of the movie, Amelie is told:

So my little Amelie, your bones aren’t made of glass. You can take life’s knocks. If you let this chance go by, eventually your heart will become as dry and brittle as a skeleton. So go ahead, dammit!

Today I was reminded that being alive is about taking risks, which is easier said than done but definitely worth the effort!

Love and Light,


Saran

Choice and self-love

I am writing this today in a bit of a kerfuffle. I feel as if every day I am learning something new about myself, the world and how I exist in it or I am reminded about things that I should remember but at times forget. Sometimes it is hard to look at and I have to choose to want to see.

Yesterday was an interesting eye opener for me. In a conversation with two friends, on two separate occasions, the same theme came up: choice. With one friend, we discussed the choice to live-that is to say yes to life is a choice that every day, we consciously make. This got me thinking that every moment is a choice that I choose to live-I choose to enjoy the nice weather or I choose to complain about the bad weather. In the same way I believe that we choose how we decide to experience life-I choose to let people get to me or I choose not to, I choose to focus on the good things in my life or to focus on the bad. It really all rests in my hands and although it seems like a simple endeavour, it can be quite difficult.

In another conversation, a friend told me that love is a choice. To me, this means that at the end of the day, I choose who I love whether that person can reciprocate or not; just like the person I love chooses to love me in return. In relationships, we make a conscious choice to choose to love someone and in the same way that they choose to love back. But what if they choose not to? What do we do in that instance?

I think that these two choices, the choice to live and the choice to love are related. They all relate to our love for ourselves. In particular, for me, the choice to live and the choice to love is directly related to loving me: it is an expression of choosing how I want to live, as well as choosing the moments and the circumstances that I choose to invite into my life.

But this is a fine balance that I have to walk and it is often very hard to make this choice. It is hard because in this world, I believe that we (especially women and mothers) are taught to neglect ourselves and sacrifice ourselves for the happiness of other. It is at times when I find it the hardest that I remember that the love for myself should come first. And I remember something that I was once told: Once a friend told me that I should allow the love for myself to drive my every move and action. And she told me that all of my actions should be determined by my true desires in my life and that I should love myself harder and harder every day. I was reminded of this at today because I feel as if sometimes I am so influenced by what others think, when in fact how I feel and what I want to do should be my first priority.

Today I learned to choose life, choose love and choose ME-every time!

Love and Light,

Saran

P.S. I invite your feedback: what do you think? Do we really choose life and love?

The Revolutionary Road

I finally got to watch the movie Revolutionary Road with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio and it was amazing! Despite the amazing acting, the movie had a really important message: be who you are and do what you want no matter what anyone thinks.

The movie is about a young married couple who appear to have the “perfect” life-the house, the car, the kids and the job but, they are miserably unhappy. The movie takes you on a journey of their lives as they try to make sense of the emptiness and unhappiness that they are experiencing. They realize that they are living by society’s rules of what it means to be happy and attempt to take a risk and go against what is considered the “right” and “responsible” thing to do, only to face criticism, judgment and temptation from all directions.

I really enjoyed this movie because it is about going with what you feel and what you know is true for you-despite what anyone thinks, says or does. It is about truly living authentically from your heart and as the movie clearly illustrates, this takes a lot of courage. I like the way the movie questioned society’s standards of happiness and despite being set in the 50’s or 60’s, many of these standards still exist today.

I appreciated this movie because it reminded me that life is really lived when you begin to run risks and embrace what you know is true for you. Don’t get me wrong, I know that this is an extremely difficult thing to do, and every day presents opportunities for me to run risks which I often don’t pay attention to. But I think that maybe it can start with small things, small steps towards fiercely and intensely being who I truly am (which in itself is a challenge on its own). But I realize that I can’t do it any differently because I can’t be happy any other way.

This movie reminds me of a poem by the poet Hafiz, entitled It Felt Love:

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
All Its
Beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,
Otherwise,
We all remain
Too Frightened.

Today I learned that I should walk by the beat of my own drum-be who I am, no matter what!

Love and Light,
Saran

P.S. Check out the movie if you have the chance...you will not be disappointed!

Choosing Your Battles

Today’s entry is short but sweet!

Today I was reminded how important it is to choose your battles. It seems like this is a constant message in my life and is sometimes hard to stand by. Being the passionate person that I am, I tend to feel attached to things that I believe in and stand for. But sometimes, you have to decide what’s worth fighting for and the reasons behind why you feel you should fight this particular battle. But, more times than not, at the end of the day, some things are just not worth the drama and the energy.

Today I learned to recognize when to fight and when to walk away.

Love and Light,

Saran

Perspectives of Reality

Before I get down to the nitty gitty of this entry I just wanted to thank you all for your support and kind words. I am excited to see what manifests from this on-line journal. I am also interested in your comments and feedback. I know that some of you have been having trouble leaving comments. I will look into it and post the solution once I figure it out.

So this is my first real blog entry and the beginning of my journal that I want to keep for six months. !For those who know me, you know that I am a thinker, always looking for answers in everything I do. I must say it has been a challenge over the past couple of days-deciding what to write, deciding what truly reflects me and my experience. So here it goes....

Today I had to be in the city at a school to attend a meeting. The school is located in a part of the city close to where I spent close to 24 years of my life until I decided to move into the country. It is an areas which has been subject to a lot of violence. It is also an area which I seem to be continuously and curiously drawn back to.

I arrived early to my meeting and decided to sit in sit in my car, eat breakfast and enjoy some music before I went inside. I coudn’t have been in my car for more than 5 minutes when I police car drove by. The police officer rolled down the window and put is head out the window look into my car. I saw this as a sign for me to hurry up and finish before it became more of an issue than it needed to be. I went inside, only to see the officer stop a young person on the street, for reasons that are unknown to me.

Now just to make it clear, the intentions (or should I say perceived intentions) and actions of the officer is not an issue for me and is not really the focus of this story.

What I realized in that moment is that so many people in this world are subject to different realities of existence-that are totally different, but no less valid in comparison to mine. Either because of where they live, how they look, what they do for a living or even something as simple as walking down the street. This isn’t by any means new to me but it was a remainder that shouldn’t be easily forgotten.

I experienced the reality of being in a high poverty, violent area which is very different from my privileged experience in the suburbs. The youth that was stopped is also well aware of the reality that he faces living where he does. Just like the officer was probably working from a perspective of safety (although I could not really know for sure) to ensure the safety of the students at that school (and rightly so!). These are the experiences and encounters that produce different realities for each and every one of us.

I was reminded that my reality is one of many- like the police officer was only acting from his own reality and the youth who was living the reality of his experience. And even though I already know this, I think that I forgot it for a moment-I forgot how the comfort of my reality is not everyone else’s comfort and reality. Different situations can impact people in some significant ways. It is something that I can never lose touch with because it is within these different realities that true light and meaning can be found.

The truth of the matter is that people only act from what they know and from their own perspective of reality-which differs from mine, yours and the other person. In that brief encounter with the officer, we were both working out of our own realities which are coloured by a combination of our own personal histories, experiences judgments and assumptions. All of this came together in one brief encounter. It was like the movie CRASH except we both don’t have the privilege of being the audience, who have a full understanding of the details of the character's stories and we didn’t have insight into where the other person was coming from.

In this sense, I was reminded that I can never forget different people’s perspectives and the reality of their life experience because it colours their words and actions in ways that I may not fully understand or even be aware of. This experience reminded me that I should choose my reactions carefully because most of the time people are only acting from their own experience of what they know and more often than not, it has both nothing and everything to do with me.

Today I learned to remember to be open and respectful of the perspectives of other people’s reality. This is the first step to true understanding.

Love and Light,

Saran

Everyday Master

I have decided to begin this blog with a very intentional purpose. I am a huge fan of Paulo Coelho, a Brazilian author who has written the most amazing books that have had a profound influence in my life. I am also an intense follower of his blog which I check on a regular basis (check it out at http://paulocoelhoblog.com/).

I usually find really insightful material on his page that either validates my experiences or tells me exactly what I need to hear. I became particularly inspired with one of his entries called Everyday Master. In this entry, Paulo discusses how someone once asked him to teach her something important. In response, he told her that she should keep a diary for the next 6 months called Everyday Masters, because (and I quote) "We always learn something different between dawn and dusk: why not write it down?" I instantly became inspired.

I thought that it would be a great idea to take up myself and it couldn't have been more perfect time. I am a strong believer that everything you need to know is right in front of you but you just have to take the time to be present and notice it. At the present moment, I feel as if I am being reinvented (hence the picture above). I feel like there are many times in your life when the old things that used to work for you, no longer work and we are constantly in a state of reinvention where we attempt to redefine ourselves.

I presently feel as if I am in this state of flux-of knowing but not knowing, being present and being absolutely lost at the same time. In the past this would have set me into a state of panic but I am beginning to become accustomed to this state of limbo if you will.

So while I am in this state of total and absolute doubt and curiosity, I thought that this would be a perfect way to discover all that is in front of me....waiting to be discovered. I have decided to take on the challenge of the Everyday master in attempts to pay attention to the little things that happen in our lives that we often are too busy to see. I call these serendipitous events Magical Moments (hence the title of this blog) because they instantly remind you that the universe is always conspiring.

I don't know how this journey will turn out but I am excited to find out and hope that you will take this journey with me.

That being said, I will end this entry with a quote, as I embark into the unknown. This quote is from the book Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. The main character Bella is conversing with her vampire boyfriend Edward. Edward says, "It is twilight. It's the safest time for us. the easiest time. but also the saddest in a way. the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" To this, Bella replies, "I like the night. Without the dark we'd never see the stars."

Light and love,

Saran