My 2010 Gratitude List

And now I would like to present my 2010 gratitude list...

What am I grateful for?

*my big, deep feeling heart and all that comes with it

*unexpected, easy friendships in unexpected places

*homeopathy (did I mention that it has changed my life)

*the life that I have chosen to create

*little boys who are still little boys underneath it all

*the courage that I had to take risks and discover new adventures

*all the learnings, that never really end

*continuing my hair journey

*my boy, the witness to my journey, all the ups and downs, ins and outs, and his compassionate patience

*the job I found and all the lessons it has to teach me

*Lutie, the white striped siamese troublemaker

*renewal of friendships and the serendipitous way that this manifested

*the courage and strength to open

*the good, the bad and the ugly: because ugly really isn't as ugly as I thought it would be. There is always a gift in the end.

*positive choices that prioritized me

* the love that surrounds me in unexpected and yet simple ways

*unexpected teachers through whom the universe speaks

*family and good friends and the unforgettable moments

*the simple things that can be found in each moment

*my down time

*the courage to go against the grain

*yoga, yoga and more yoga

What do I hope 2011 brings?

*peace and ease

*deeper levels of self-discovery

*continued serendipitous moments

*love

*more creative outlets

*insight

*lots of fun adventures into the unknown

May this new year be all that you want it to be and more!

With love,

S

Appreciation

As the magic of the holiday season approaches, I am reminded about the importance of appreciation. I received this message in my inbox today:

If we don’t feel that we are receiving from the Light indefinitely more than we are giving, then appreciation is an area we need to focus on in our spiritual work. We can also be certain that no matter how challenging this work may seem, the rewards are greater than we can possibly imagine.

When we are focused on what we don’t have we start losing appreciation. And when we lose appreciation we can also lose what we do have.

A person with a true desire for life has gratitude for what he has, yet he still craves more. We were meant to have it all. A person with authentic desire knows he has been given wonderful gifts, but he also knows they can disappear at any moment. He feels full and incomplete at the same time.

The lesson to remember is:

Our connection to ourselves, others, and ultimately to the Light of the Creator begins and ends with appreciation.

This is something we already know. I simply wish to remind you of the utter importance of constantly fighting to remain in gratitude. And make no mistake it is a struggle, because our natural instinct is to look for the negative. It takes effort to not compare ourselves with others, and to not feel lack. It’s easy to erupt in anger and self-pity resulting from jealousy or insecurity, but far more difficult to wage the internal battle against ego (which is the root cause of resentment, doubt, and you can fill in the rest.)

It’s not just that we should strive for appreciation of things and experiences. People who help us along the way are also channels for the Light. If we forget them, then we are cutting off our connection to the Source of all that is good in our life. Even if it was 20 years ago, it’s important to remember people who were there for us along our journey. When we are busy looking at the good others have done for us, our attention shifts away from what we don’t have.

All of us are blessed with various gifts. We need to take time to be grateful for these gifts, so they will remain with us. Through appreciation we can avoid feeling that we are missing out on something, thereby wasting or losing what we do have. The feeling of abundance creates more abundance.

This week, take a step back. Develop greater appreciation by imagining what life would be like if the things, people, qualities, abilities you do have were taken away. Every time you find yourself fixated on the glittering lives in the pages of People, or the shiny new toys your neighbor has, bring back your focus. Come back home to yourself, to your life, and look around.

What if these things and these people weren’t here tomorrow? How much would you miss them?

Happy holidays to you and yours!

With love,

S

Note to Self

*You are only one person...there is only so much you can do. Or as my dad says: "Eat the elephant one bite at a time."

*Connecting with good friends is important. Make sure to make time for it!

*My feelings always let me know the truth

*Scott Pilgrim versus the World rocks! I need to own this movie...and the soundtrack if possible

*You really are a BIG nerd

*Boundaries are important...make sure you use them!

*Keep doing things you love

*Shopping therapy is important for your mental health. Treat yourself once in awhile

* I'm too sensitive to drink black tea...I need to find alternatives

*Yoga, yoga and more yoga

*Cute boys make me blush

*As my son likes to say: show me the rule book!

*Christmas is around the corner. I need to get my butt in gear

* No more complaints and wear my complaint free world bracelet until it I stop

*You never know what's going on in someone's life by just looking at them. I love the stories

*I really do geek out about anything to do with: vampires, my hair (I want to get it as straight as my hairdresser does), Jersey Shore and New Age stuff

*Bring more music into your life...it's important!

AND last but not least....

Remember: everything is in divine perfect order and will unfold as it should

With love,

S

Welcome to your dream

My life has become such a whirlwind over the past couple of months that I don't even know where to begin. So many magical things are afoot, so many changes, so much growth it is actually really incredible.

I want them all to be remembered...I just want to list them all:

*finished school....YAAH!

*EFT tapping for money (it works...try it!!)

*new jobs and all the tiredness that comes with it

*homeopathy: it has changed my life...literally

*peace powders

*candle burning

*new friends and reconnecting with old friends

*continuing to get closer with my boy

*magic all around me

*hard choices that are right for me

*reconnections that i never expected

*superhero hunting

*new balances

*unexpected friendships

*more intuitive moments

*vampire obsessions

*dancing the night away

*learning about what life is again

*dreams.....

*open opportunities

*opening to love again

*camping adventures

*Niagara overnights

*hopes and dreams discovered

*new boundaries and possibilities

Life is a dream....anything is all possible!

S

P.S. I'm getting back into yoga again...it brings me so much balance

Being Vulnerable....

I heard this song today and I love it! Showing our vulnerabilities is what makes us human but also it is what makes us who we are. A lesson to remember indeed...

Love and light,

S

My Natural Transition: Journeying deeper into myself

Last year, around this same time I decided to go natural. For those of you who may not know what this means, I will fill you in. It means that I decided to no longer straighten my hair and instead decided to embrace my natural tresses. This means that I would be embracing the natural texture of my hair and I had no idea what it looked like. This was both a very exciting and very scary process at the same time. I have not seen my natural hair since I first started perming my hair when I was 12, so this was a pretty major decision to say the least.

Why, you may ask, did I decide to do it? I decided to do it because I was so tired of sitting in a hairdressing chair for 5 hours plus to get the same hairstyle that I have been getting for the past 6 years (at least). I really began to feel oppressed by the entire process, being tied to someone else to actually do something that I should have been able to do myself and relying on having to get a perm say every 2 months and feeling somewhat too tied to that entire process. It was like I was always looking for that next fix of straight hair. After awhile, it wasn't sitting well with me for so many different reasons.

When I initially started I was scared. I didn't know what to do, didn't know what my hair would look like. I just had a vision of what I imagined it would be and hoped that I could get it like that. It was also a process where my hair was straight for a pretty long time, as I tried to grow out the permed and for a minute, the process of it didn't seem to hard. I remember continually wondering why in so many blogs, forums and you tube videos, girls complained about how hard the process was because I thought that it wasn't too bad. I also didn't want to go to just any hairdresser to help with the process because I was afraid that they wouldn't know what to do and they would tell me that I would have to cut off all my hair and I just wasn't ready for that.

As time passed I began to realize just how difficult it was. Not only did I have to embrace my hair as it was and learn how to actually take care of and style my hair (thank goodness for you tube!!) but I was constantly pulled between this tension of having straight hair or curly hair. I was also discouraged because my hair didn't look the way that I wanted it to. There were so many girls on Youtube with hair videos with beautiful, big curly hair that seemed so simple and care free and I wasn't there yet.

Throughout this process I realized just how tied I am to my hair: just how much I allow it to identify who I am and just how many layers are tied to a black hair including self-esteem, identity, conforming to societal and cultural standards, etc.

After much wrestling back and forth through so many of these issues, I realized that embracing my hair as it is, meant really embracing who I am fully. Once I began to treat my hair with love and kindness I began to see just how much of this process was a journey to deeper self-acceptance and love. By all means, I cannot say that this process is over: I have my good days and my bad days but what I do know is that I am redefining myself every day and continuing to peel away the layers that are me. It is almost like an onion, the more layers that I peel away, the closer I am to my true core.

For more about this I have included a link to a video that I found really helpful. I feel like it really speaks to me in terms of my hair journey. Although I don't agree with everything she says I think she provides a good overview.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=curlychronicles#p/u/105/bYUwpM-NYy0

Love and light,

S

Clarity

I am finding that I am having a lot of trouble saying what I mean lately. I mean actually articulating my words and saying what's in my heart, especially with those who are close to me and who I should be totally present with, always.

I had the opportunity recently to attend a conference that discussed resiliency amongst people who are living with addictions and mental illness conducted by Dr. Gabor Mate, who is an absolute genius (if you get a chance to read his books, please do so!). He talks about how one of the ways to provide support to these people is to be fully present, authentic and genuine. In other words, to be human and open to showing your genuine humanity.He discussed many other significant things throughout the lecture that could not only be applied to his clientele but could also apply to life in general. From his lecture, the idea of being fully present really sat with me.

I was speaking with a friend about just how easy it is zone out, shut down during life (in particular though, I am referring to my current school experience). It is so easy to disconnect, numb out and not feel. I have been struggling with this habit of mine because I find that in so doing, I miss a lot of what I am meant to experience. And I also find that I have to tune back in at some point, especially because I am surrounded by such beautiful, deep feeling, authentic, purposely awake people.

By the way, Gabor Mate would probably say that all of these habits go back to our childhood and are a result of adaptive, protective mechanisms that we used to protect or defend ourselves.

Part of me agrees with what he says, but for me, it is all a part of the journey.

So I guess I have to decide: am I human or am I a dancer?

Love and light,

S

Side note #1:

I have realized that I have been writing this blog for almost a year now. It was initially supposed to be for six months. Looking back I see how much things have changed for me. I'm realizing that it is nice to have a record to look back on to capture those magical moments!

Side note #2:

I have recently been seeing a homeopathic doctor and the results have been amazing!! I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to meet my doctor and feel blessed to have been able to receive the benefits of this life changing practice! It really has changed my life!

True to self

Found this in my inbox today from a daily e-letter that I subscribe to....I love the message because it rings so true to me!

Wednesday January 27, 2010

Everything begins and ends with our own individual behavior.When we are honest with our emotions, however dark they may be, we invite others to be real and to face their own pain. And then real transformation can occur - that's how we are going to fix this planet.But when we suppress, when we are fake, we send a message out to others that they need to be fake too and hold in their truth. This is how things will remain the same.Today, be real. You don't need to be anyone else but who you are. Being honest helps the rest of us find our truth.

Love and light,

s

My 2009 Gratitude List

Instead of resolutions I decided to do a gratitude list. And here it is...

-sweet boy hugs and kisses

-anusara yoga in magical studio

-people who walk awake

-brothers who show their love in the littlest yet most meaningful ways

-healing homeopathy

-lush, lush and more lush :)

-driven social workers who dare to do things differently

-the light

-rest

-universe's blessings

-dedicated dad: who loves harder as time moves forward

-inspirational teachers

-friends who lovingly hold you as you are

-courageous feeling people

-family that shows love through keeping traditions alive

-west coast cousins who will be closer soon :)

-natural manes

-crystals

-mom that gets closer even though she may be far

-healing home with a big heart

-kitten's whiny meow

-late night talks and laughs

-the moving sound of DeLory's chants

-a feeling heart

-blissful moments

-community of peace and love where you are given permission to just be

-Coupland and Coelho

-serendipitous moments of love

Love and light,

s