“And then the day came when the risk of remaining in a tight bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”-Anais Nin
I have been contemplative over the past week or so about writing this blog. I have realized that I haven’t felt moved to write anything lately, even though so much has been shifting and moving in my life. I tried to force myself to write something but just couldn’t. If it is not from the heart, it is not real and I want what I do to come from my heart and be real.
So this morning I was presently surprised that I actually felt the urge and inspiration to write again. You see over the past month so many wonderful things have been happening. Things have been changing both within me and without of me and it has been absolutely fantastic, though at times, I must admit, I really couldn’t see the fantastic. I felt very lost: disconnected, not grounded and not knowing. But I have come to realize, as a dear friend has told me that when you get lost, you find something that you don’ expect to find.
I have realized that over the past couple of months little awakenings have been occurring in my life-little serendipitous moments that have led me to this bigger moment of awakening and feeling grounded. It has been pushed along by the circle of support that I have around me-even though some of them may not know just how much they have given me. I have experienced moments of being held in my delicate humanness, by my circle of supportive friends and family members who continue to hold me unconditionally, despite the frailties and vulnerabilities. They have allowed me to be who I am and have accepted me wholeheartedly and without reservation, but with love, in the truest sense of the word. They have been the flicker of light through the darkness and the support net that held me even though, at times it was hard to be held. For this I am truly blessed and appreciative. Through them I have realized the true meaning of genuine relationships and the importance of both being held as you are, allowing yourself to be held and returning that support. This is a lesson that has been coming to me over the past couple of months that I am sure will last a lifetime.
It is through this and many other changes and awakenings that have happened in my life that I have realized that even though I felt like I was lost, I was really being led. Led to appreciate what I have, led to be patient and recognize open doors, led to be true to who I am despite who may be hurt and led to go deeper within myself, to know and love myself deeper,stronger and harder than ever before.
There is a beautiful image from the book Eleanor Rigby by Douglas Coupland that resonates with me in this moment. At the beginning of the book the main character is standing in a Rogers Video parking lot watching a comet in the sky and feels as if something within her has shifted and changed. She states that she feels as if she is a big magnet and she has opened the door to allow everything into her life that is meant to be there.
The other day I came across a song that my closest companion started to write. One line says: “I’ve only fought society with armour and a shield. It’s time for me to fight them only with a shield.” These two beautiful images describe exactly how I feel in this moment.
Love and light,
S
I have been contemplative over the past week or so about writing this blog. I have realized that I haven’t felt moved to write anything lately, even though so much has been shifting and moving in my life. I tried to force myself to write something but just couldn’t. If it is not from the heart, it is not real and I want what I do to come from my heart and be real.
So this morning I was presently surprised that I actually felt the urge and inspiration to write again. You see over the past month so many wonderful things have been happening. Things have been changing both within me and without of me and it has been absolutely fantastic, though at times, I must admit, I really couldn’t see the fantastic. I felt very lost: disconnected, not grounded and not knowing. But I have come to realize, as a dear friend has told me that when you get lost, you find something that you don’ expect to find.
I have realized that over the past couple of months little awakenings have been occurring in my life-little serendipitous moments that have led me to this bigger moment of awakening and feeling grounded. It has been pushed along by the circle of support that I have around me-even though some of them may not know just how much they have given me. I have experienced moments of being held in my delicate humanness, by my circle of supportive friends and family members who continue to hold me unconditionally, despite the frailties and vulnerabilities. They have allowed me to be who I am and have accepted me wholeheartedly and without reservation, but with love, in the truest sense of the word. They have been the flicker of light through the darkness and the support net that held me even though, at times it was hard to be held. For this I am truly blessed and appreciative. Through them I have realized the true meaning of genuine relationships and the importance of both being held as you are, allowing yourself to be held and returning that support. This is a lesson that has been coming to me over the past couple of months that I am sure will last a lifetime.
It is through this and many other changes and awakenings that have happened in my life that I have realized that even though I felt like I was lost, I was really being led. Led to appreciate what I have, led to be patient and recognize open doors, led to be true to who I am despite who may be hurt and led to go deeper within myself, to know and love myself deeper,stronger and harder than ever before.
There is a beautiful image from the book Eleanor Rigby by Douglas Coupland that resonates with me in this moment. At the beginning of the book the main character is standing in a Rogers Video parking lot watching a comet in the sky and feels as if something within her has shifted and changed. She states that she feels as if she is a big magnet and she has opened the door to allow everything into her life that is meant to be there.
The other day I came across a song that my closest companion started to write. One line says: “I’ve only fought society with armour and a shield. It’s time for me to fight them only with a shield.” These two beautiful images describe exactly how I feel in this moment.
Love and light,
S
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